Dear Dr Rita Gardner
Greetings from the Make Me a Mountain Campaign, we received your last letter,
and though long-winded and vague we think we know what you are trying to say.
It has become clear to us now why our repeated requests for scientific truth have been ignored. And whilst it seems shameful, we have no choice but take your request into regard for the good of science and the world.
So you have won. We offer you my flatmate Steve’s (Photo attached) hand in marriage. In return for which you must declare Laird Samuel a Mountain by way of dowry.
Steve requires three meals a day and must be walked!
Though we shall miss him it will be a worthy sacrifice.
You will also notice a slight change in our letterhead. We have finally taken it upon ourselves to set up a website and Online Petition.
Please feel welcome to browse this site at your leisure.
Though we offer you the olive branch of an arranged marriage with Steve we feel that we must now bring the full People Power of the MMMC into play in the face of continued stubbornness.
We also regret to inform you that we are now officially withdrawing the Royal Geographic Society use of Sam’s invention (the number 6).
With this heightened pressure and the fact that (At the time of writing) already 46 out of our planets 6000,000,000 inhabitants are on my side! Surely you can now see reason and declare Sam a Mountain?
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